Monday, April 16, 2012

NY Comics

Seasons go by, but one thing stays the same: I don't update this blog.

I've started an online comic of sorts, into which I'll put my energy henceforth:

   nycomics.net

I hope to see you there!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Combination Generator

I wrote a little program that generates all the combinations for a specified set and choice size; that is, it lists all the values of "n-choose-m". It's free, and runs on Windows, Mac, and Linux.

For instance, if you have eight players and need to list all the sports teams of three people you could make, this will do that.

Updated: you can now write the list of combinations directly to a file, which should help if you need to generate a very large list.

Updated (1/9/2012): you can set the names of the elements used to list combinations (for instance, to team names, player names, etc.)

Let me know (jesse@humidmail.com) if you find this program useful, or if you have suggestions.

Here's a screenshot (click to enlarge):




You can download it from here: download   (To run it, just double-click the .jar file you downloaded.)

Alternately, for Windows users, you can download a ZIP'd executable here: download ZIP

You'll need Java 5 or higher to run it. You probably have Java on your computer, but if not, it's a free download from www.java.com

* I use Michael Gilleland's code in this program.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

From Marcus Aurelius's Meditations

As he took examples of the good in life from others, so may I take them too:

Decency and a mild temper.

Integrity and manliness.

Generosity, simplicity of living, avoidance of the habits of the pampered.

To learn from good teachers, and to hold this at high value.

To tolerate pain and feel few needs; to work with my own hands and mind my own business; to be deaf to malicious gossip.

To avoid empty enthusiasms; to tolerate plain speaking and have an affinity for philosophy.

To want betterment of my character, not to be seduced by the music of rhetoric, and to want the same. To not deliver my own moral sermons or to paint a glorified picture of the ascetic; to avoid pretentious language, and to write and speak in an unaffected style. To offer ready conciliation with those who have taken or given offence, as soon as they are willing to join me. To read carefully, and not take comfort in my own superficial thoughts or those of others.

Moral freedom, and to be guided by reason. To stay steady, not having my character be molded by the facile hands of circumstance. To be patient in explanation and in listening to the explanation of others.

A kindly disposition and an intuitive concern for my friends. Tolerance of both ordinary people and the extremely opinionated.

Not to leap on mistakes or to pedantically correct those who make inconsequential errors.

To see and understand the effect of suspicion, caprice, and hypocrisy in managing others.

Love of family, truth, and justice. To value freedom and equality, philosophy, beneficence, optimism, confidence, and frankness.

Self-mastery and a constancy to not be unduly affect by passing whims; good cheer in myriad circumstances; a balance of character, gentle and dignified; an uncomplaining energy for what needs to be done. Being well-intentioned in all I do. Never to be downcast or cringing, or brooding upon anger or suspicion. To be forgiving and truthful, and to choose rectitude. To never be belittled and to not consider myself superior to others.

Gentleness, and a firm adherence to decisions made after full consideration. No vain taste for so-called honor; stamina and perseverance; a ready willingness to listen to anyone with a proposal for the common good. To give common courtesy, to be focused and persistent in deliberation when such must be, to never be satisfied with first impressions or leaving a question prematurely. Foresight in long-term issues and unfussy control of details. To put little worth in acclamation or flattery, to be tolerant of criticism; to avoid superstitious fear and obsequious courting of the public opinion. To have a sober steadfastness, and no obsession with vulgar or newfangled tastes.
      To enjoy the comforts of life without pride nor apology, to not take them for granted nor regret their absence. Not to be a fraud, impostor, or pedant, but rather to strive for a mellow wisdom and mature experience, able to take charge of my own affairs.
      To have a high regard for genuine philosophers, yet to have no hard words for others. To be sociable and have a sense of humor, though not taken to excess; sensible care of my body, neither vain nor valetudinarian, but neither neglectful, so that a healthy constitution leaves little need for doctors or medicines.
      To have a ready, ungrudging deference to those with some special ability, and to support those with a talent in a field. To resume life and work quickly, vigorously after any illness or pain. To not live an unduly secretive life.
      To not be consumed by care of comforts or building houses or acquiring possessions; to not be particular about food or clothing, or youthful beauty.
      To not be harsh, relentless, or impetuous; to not panic but rather treat everything with its own allotted time and thought, unhurried, organized, vigorous, and consistent in all. To regulate abstinences and enjoyments where some may not have the discipline to abstain nor the happiness to enjoy.
      Strength of character--endurance or sobriety as the case may be--and a full and indomitable spirit, in health and illness.

Good grandparents, good parents, good siblings, cousins, and fellows, good teachers, good family, relatives, and friends - to maintain peace with them all. To not be corrupted, nor feel the need to fancy outfits, jewelry, decorations, and the other trappings of pomp, but to maintain the highest dignity in whatsoever station may fall to me.
      To live life in accordance with nature and the common good.
      To give thanks for health, mind, those who love me, my fellows, and fortune's favor.

Friday, February 4, 2005

Remix Titles

Had you realized before that eletronic music DJ's are, in their heart, students of the pure sciences? You can tell by looking at the names of various remixes---to generate a remix name, take an ornate term from mathematics or physics or whatnot, and append the word "remix", and it sounds quite plausible. To wit,


* Math: "Silence (Hyperbolic Cardiod Remix)"
* Physics: "Fly Away (Quantum Entanglement Remix)"
* Chemistry: "Ecstasy (Transitive Phasechange Remix)"

Monday, January 17, 2005

Beautiful Athena

Today marks the two year anniversary of the untimely deletion of my Athena account. *A lone tear traces its path down my cheek.* I'd felt that for many students, their Athena account was the priviledge the possession of which made them most feel a connection to MIT, and only after it was gone did they feel as though their college identity was truly in the past. For that, I think that the MIT administration would be smart to allow graduates to keep their accounts, perhaps with a reduced quota and constricted file-system rights, indefinitely. What would it cost to host a few more non-critical servers, ones that do not need guaranteed uptime or instant service? And how much more donation money would the school receive from a fleet of alums who feel a still vibrant link to their alma mater?

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Cel Ringers

In Asia, there are two cell-phone ring tones called "Rockmelon" and "Body Thinning" which are marketed to increase one's bust size and make one lose weight, respectively. The following interviews were published in the October issue of Easy Finder, a Hong Kong youth magazine (*):


Age: 19

Before: 34.5" bust. After: 35.5"

The bust-boosting ring tone sounded strange at first, but after listening to it, it was super-easy to fall asleep. I used to go to the club maybe only once a month, but now I go at least once a week. I've become a better conversationalist, and more animated too! One of the times I went to the club, an artist came over and started flirting with me. After we flirted, I went into the bathroom and listened to the bust-boosting ring again to make myself feel ever more energetic. Although we didn't end up going on a date, we exchanged cell-phone numbers and sent each other text messages. I'm already happy!


Age: 22

Before: 35.5" bust. After: 36.5"

The bust-boosting ring tone sounds a bit scary, like a horror movie. I listened to it while I ate, and after a while it made my appetite decrease. I used to eat a big bag of chips as a snack every day, but after listening to the ring tone I didn't want to eat that kind of snack. The most amazing thing is that in a month my bust grew one inch---I couldn't believe it! Before, I wouldn't dare wear a see-through shirt, but now I wear one with a colorful bra underneath. When middle-aged guys pass me on the street they do a double-take!


Age: 24

Before: 102 pounds. After: 98 pounds.

The weight-loss ring tone is so harsh. It's really annoying! But after I had listened to it for a week, I started seeing results. I don't know why, but the ring tone makes me want to drink and eat less. Previously, after eating dinner I would eat four servings of ice cream in one sitting. Now one serving is enough! My boyfriend promised me that if I lose two more pounds he'll buy me a Burberry miniskirt!


Well...no comment. But what it did make me think of is what would happen if ring-tones that are popular in the US had the same sort of testimonials? Here's mine, for instance.


Age: 26

Before: Six double-oh one. After: Dee oh double-gee.

The 50-cent ring tone is a little bit scary, like being in the hood. I listened to it while I drove, and after a while, I bought my car hydraulics and starting flipping switches. The most amazing thing is that I used to be an MIT nerd, and now I'm an honorary member of G-G-G-G Unit---I couldn't believe it! Before, I wouldn't dare approach any girls, but now when I'm "In Da Club" I get all the attractive ladies! Some of them wear see-through shirts with colorful bras underneath, but their ring tones sound like a horror movie, so I stay away from them. When middle-aged women pass me on the street they do a double-take!


I didn't even get to the Celine Dion tribute yet, either.


* - And subsequently in Harper's magazine, from where once again I lifted them. The translation from the Chinese was done by Christopher Rea.

Friday, December 3, 2004

Language Play

Some writers need more than one letter's worth of the dictionary to compose renditions of biblical events; and some do not...


Seduced, shaggy Samson snored.
She scissored short. Sorely shorn,
Soon shackled slave, Samson sighed,
Silently scheming,
Sightlessly seeking
Some savage, spectacular suicide.
-- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

And when you're penning that next love/breakup letter, don't waste your energy writing different words for different men---just move around a few periods and commas.

Dear Thomas,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?

Maria

* * *

Dear Thomas,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,

Maria